Why AM I Tthe way I AM?

This is really embarrassing, I mean have you even heard of the thing called "Conscience", yes, the emotion/feelings that resides within us. What the use of having a Conscience but not listening to it.When I look at myself  in a mirror what I see is a very self-control,sober and pleasing personality kind of a person but when I look within myself(my heart,my soul to be exact)I really don't like what I came across - a very hyper,frenzied person who is screaming from inside,telling me to be I actually AM instead of adopting the manner that is pleasing to others, because I can't make everyone happy, can I? There always gonna be a person or two who would always find something or the other fault in me,they will never be satisfied with me, would they ever be?

So why I m killing myself, why am I suppressing my feelings, dumbing down myself to make those people happy who even doesn't matter to me,whom I don't love at all,WHY? just to please the society and the societies's so called norms, trying to please people who would anyway talk behind your back even when you help them in their difficulties and do them favors all the time.

I keep asking myself these questions at the confinement of my home ,when I m all alone and there is nobody to impart me with their so called knowledge of everything in the world,because they know the world better than me, in the name of " for my own good" lectures of theirs. This usually happen at most Indian families(that I have came across),people who are elder to you(relatives especially) will always treat you like they know more about you and your life than you know about yourself. I can't vouch for others but this is what usually happens to me.So when I m all lone, I question alot to myself, why am I doing whatever I m doing, this is not me, why I m agreeing with those things which doesn't feel right to me, why I m with people to whom I mean nothing, I m no one to them,they turn to me only when they are in need,otherwise then won't even bother whether I m alive or dead.So, why I m listening to people who don't understand my point of  view and always say that I m like a child (the way I see things) I don't understand the world the way they do, just because I don't move around making serious conversation with every Tom, Dick and Harry and showing off  my achievements, my work and imparting lectures about life to others.Sorry, but that's not who I m, Once upon a time people used to boss me around and I was incapable of thinking on my own so I just used to follow whatever others tell me to do,whether good or bad.

This was the time when I went into a depression,I didn't knew what to do,where to go,whom to turn to for help, I was all alone and there was no one to help me out, Out of fear and frustration I had created a barrier between myself  and others,I stop going out,meeting with my family members, friends and I used to cry my eyes out, my heart, my lungs,everything out and when I m done crying I would fall asleep out of sheer tiredness, That time was not easy for me,with no one around to look up to or to support me.

But I did overcome my depression and fought my evils and it was this phase of my life that I think made me what I m today. I feel that I m  more confident, mentally and emotionally more strong and stable.Its not easy to fight with your own demons and that too all alone, but as I now know that it is not impossible,difficult, yes but not  impossible to achieve. If I can so can others.

Now I know "why I am the way I am" and I m proud of it, I only do what I feel is right and what my instinct tell me to do, I only listen to my heart and not others.I have become a free spirited person,full of positivity, wild,the type who could never be caged not even by the society's rules and regulations.I would never do something that my conscience would not allow me to do. I would never give my advice to anyone who didn't  ask for it. I mind my own business, I m now more of a happy go lucky kind of a person and  I see posivity in every situation.

My fight with my inner self is not over and I have to keep fighting with my inner devils every now and then because life is not " A Bed Of Roses" but now I have the courage and the knowledge that would help me further in life.

BOOKCHOR - TO YOUR RESCUE

You must have guessed from the title what I m writing in my blog today about, yes it is about the very famous, the most efficient and the best ever second hand book seller online www.bookchor.com. I did some research about the aforementioned topic before writing anything in my blog and I m happy because I didn't find many, not to be rude but its good for my blog you see it means mine would be among the articles that people would read (the more the option the less the chance that people will read mine).

 I came to know that this website is run by four entrepreneur-Bhaves Sharma, Prateek Maheswari, Alok Sharma and Vidyut Sharma,who in their college days has to face quite a problem for second hand books not being available to them according to their suitability. They did some research and form this idea of providing other people with dire needs of books which they can easily afford.These people started their website in October 2015and now they are the leading online seller of second hand books in India and have taken up the responsibility of supplying the required books to their customer even in the remotest places within the boundries of  India.

Book is my 1st love and it will always be, so when I decided to start my blog I thought why not start with something I m totally gaga about,'BOOKS', it runs in my blood,my thoughts,it is a part of my soul. I know its quite scary, but I can't help it and I also know that there are some beautiful soul out there who would understand this craziness of mine and I m not just talking about nerds like me but other normal people, anyway back to the topic,when it comes to books I m a loyalist of bookchor.com, truly I m. Ever since I came across this website (i,e. around February 2016) I have abondon all the other sites from which I used to order, I even stop going to my nearby book shop, who would go to other places when one can get books that is so affordable and cheapest to the point that any bookaholic and a middle-class person like me, who have limited amount to spend on thing,can order 20 books at one go.

Bookchor.com is my Robinhood, it is my saviour, I would like to share one of my most cherished experience with them.  Around 8 months ago when i was placing my order of books at their site I came across this rule of theirs while checking out, that they no longer supply the benefit of COD to my home place that is in Kolkata(W.B). I was really disappointed because that is the only option I could afford, I didn't opted for card facility for my account so I can't opt for pay online system and my bank didn't provide me with e-banking option either, so COD was my only option and to tell you the truth I feel COD is the safest option, so what I did was just keep adding the books that I like to my cart every now and then or whenever I visit the site just to have a look what else they have put on offer(everyday they put a book on sale slashed upto 70%-80%). I would just look at my books with puppy eyes and then with lots of self control logout from my acc, isn't that horrible!

Due this I have accumulated around 20 copies in my cart. Then a few months before, I got a call from someone (I didn't ask for name) from their company confirming that I have accumulated 20 books and wanting to know that whether I m ever going to order it or not.I explained my position to him and said if they allow COD only then would I be placing my order, that person was like an angel to me because what he did made me jump in excitement, he told me that though the facility is not yet available at my home place but he would wave it for me,only for me, so you can imagine my excitement when I heard from him that he is going to place the order on my behalf and made COD option available for me, at last, after so long, I would get my books and I did. That was the most awesome feeling. You can see the pic below :

 The books were in such a good condition one would hardly believe that's they are second hand (of course, all the books of theirs are like that)and they also give free bookmarks which is so beautiful, for e.g- Harry Potter theme book mark,Games Of Thornes,etc.

I have become a loyal customer of  www.bookchor.com and would suggest anyone, who would ask me, to opt for them. My hunger for books is never going to efface, so I have made this motto,whenever in need of books look no further than Robinhood, I mean www.bookchor.com. This 21st century has made availability of things within a few clicks so desirable the decision of the bookchor.com to take such step seems very coherent. They also have a facebook page dedicated to bookchor.com and youtube page also, as well as their own app in Android and IOS. I m listing the sites below:

• https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDGfvUEfebPTKIGREVRPJ_Ahttp://www.bookchor.com/index
• https://web.facebook.com/bookchor?_rdr
• Android app: http://bit.ly/1N5lf8V
• IOS app: http://apple.co/282x25J

A Smooth Sea Never Made A Skillful Sailor

Since this is my first ever blog I thought that instead of writing something on the field of my interested area I would begin with Introducing myself and writing something about me, maybe it will be of no interest to some readers,if I do get some readers for my blog,but it just occur to me that my 1st blog should be about me and how i come across this beautiful idea.

I have done graduation in Journalism and Mass Comm(Hons) and I belong from a place called Kolkata(West Bengal) India,but since I pass out from college I haven't worked and its been 3 yrs approx, though i did internship with some of the decent company(without pay,of course) and had worked as a content writer(they paid me in pennies for working my ass off) during my college days, but apart from it I don't have any experience. I was this excited newly pass out college girl scintillating with hope that my life is going to be awe-inspiring, finally I m going to be an independent,working women, writing articles and seeing my name publish in some magazine/newspaper even maybe online e-news.

But this was not my fate, as soon as my college life ended and i was preparing myself for the job, when my parents started discouraging me to take up any job that would require late night return from work or running all over the place taking interviews or any such job that would require me to stay out late because what the society will say,girl coming so late home from work and also its not safe for women too. I think its the latter part that worries my parents as do all other parents of working women living in India,not just working but parents of all women working or not, but still there is this thing I have notice in our Indian society that parents would rather spend lacs into their daughter's marriage than to spend on their education and career.

I,however, tried convincing my parents that they do allow me to work and why it is so important to me, my father loves me dearly so after lots of coaxing and requesting, he allow me to work but under certain terms and condition. I did try my hands on various jobs I can get, even teaching but none worked for me because I was not made for those field, I hardly worked anywhere more than a month. Soon after my father retired from office and within a month or two of his retirement he fell sick and so serious was his ailment that I have to give up my job which I was doing at that time,to look after my father because he needed someone to take care of him,since then something or the other is going on with both of my parents, its been 3 yrs and I had almost given up hope of  being an independent person or having a proper job or of earning a decent amount,I love my parents more than my career or myself.

A few days ago I came across a book, I m a bookworm or better bookaholic, of  Sophie Kinsella's confession of a shopaholic in which the lead character REBECCA BLOOMWOOD is a journalist and its all about her life complexities (but in my opinion I found her to be quite a fraud and yet luck favor her all the time).So, to tell you the truth I really got inspired by the author's book and some of the suggestions that I came across in the book has turn on some switched in my head that I just can't stop thinking, therefore,I started looking for writings article online or so jobs(part time),I searched and searched but nothing came my way that would be of my interest because,honestly we women don't get paid enough for our hard work,even for full time work let alone part time work.

Then I came across an article about "earning through blogging" and did some research and finally came to a conclusion that instead of wasting my time searching online for part-time writing job I should focus on improving my flair in writing and gain some experience in this field. Hence, I decided that I would write/review about things that I have experienced in my life or of things that i have used personally eg-make-up, skin care products,fashion,personal life experiences,books,etc.

And maybe then luck would favor me once(finger crossed,hopes high) just as luck favoured Rebecca bloomwood of Shopaholic series and maybe I would be able to start earning by blogging and reviewing as well as writing articles for others(oh,how much i would love to do that).

This blog is my SUNSHINE, it is where i can pour my heart and soul out and in turn it leading me into a new life that I so desired.